I'd Rather Eat Chocolate

I'd Rather Eat Chocolate

Learning to Love My Low Libido

Book - 2007
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If I had a choice between having sex and reading a good book, the book wins. I notice I put in the adjective 'good'--and that leaves me wondering if I'm not trying to put a better face on things. I still want people to read this and think, 'Well, of course. If it's a good book.' But my boyfriend--the man I would eventually marry--would take even bad sex over a good book.
--From I'd Rather Eat Chocolate
Joan is hardly ever in the mood. Kip is always in the mood. Does that sound like any couple you know?Joan Sewell is a funny, brave new writer who dares to reveal that sex in her house does not look anything like the sex you see in movies. When she learns that her husband, Kip, would have sex five or six times a week if he could have as much sex as he wanted (compared to her once or twice a month), Joan decides she'd better pluck up her sex drive before she ends up on the fast track to divorce court. I'd Rather Eat Chocolate is the witty, provocative chronicle of her search for a lift to her libido and what happens when none of the expert advice works.
First she tries sexy underwear--until her husband realizes she is cheating on her thongs by wearing cotton panties. Then she reads that for stressed-out wives, a husband who does housework is the ultimate aphrodisiac--until she realizes that she is actually the slob in the relationship and the mess hasn't decreased Kip's sex drive any. When she reads John Gray's advice to women to offer quickies if their husbands want sex and they are not in the mood, Joan realizes that this is the ultimate male trump card so she can never again say no to sex. Her fantasies begin to involve smothering John Gray with a pillow.
Joan Sewell is scrappy, fearless, and hilarious, the I Love Lucy of low libido. Her memoir is laugh-out-loud funny. But it has a serious vein, too. How Joan and Kip work it out, and what they do when they do it, will give every woman hope that she can be true to herself and have a happy marriage.
Publisher: New York : Broadway Books, c2007
Edition: 1st ed
ISBN: 9780767922678
Branch Call Number: 616.8583 SEW
Characteristics: 213 p. ; 22 cm

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oldhag Jul 25, 2012

The good rating, rather than 5 stars, reflects the discomfort I experienced with the level of personal disclosure in this book, it felt awfully close to voyeurism. The author describes how "Raunch Culture", a culture of "...unbridled male fantasy has been co-opted by women in the name of feminism and sexual liberation...so it's hard to criticize it---because you're attacking what women have supposedly been striving for for decades". Sewell asks why low libido in women is considered a dysfunction rather than considering that men's sex drives may be too high. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if men were urged to fall in line with women's sex drive rather than vice versa?"
I won't give away how Sewell and her husband resolve their different appetites for sex except to repeat her conclusion: "When I was free to do what I wanted, my sexuality took me by surprise. It is not necessarily expressed in orgasms or a desire for physical stimulation. And I won't say that having the pressure off my sexual performance resulted in more lust or more orgasms. It hasn't." Finally, she writes, "I realize that my sexual preferences aren't exactly logical. Some of the reasons I have for not liking cunnilingus could also apply to fellatio, which I don't mind. But I want to show you that some of our sexual preferences and quirks don't make sense-and they don't have to. If I don't want to do a particular sex act, I don't do it. I needn't defend my choice."

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